Relationships are the foundation upon which education is built. I would even dare to say that there may not be a more people oriented business than being an educator. As I returned back to work this week I was reflecting on last year, thinking about those students that I know I really need to build relationships. As I was reflecting I began to think about all the times we talk about building relationships. While it’s great we talk about it so much I feel like we’ve begun to see this as somewhat of a one-way street.
If we focus on relationships as something we build with kids only we will miss the mark. As an educator, some of the greatest moments in my career centered around times where kids invested in me, made me feel safe, made me feel like I was valued. Building relationships is a two way street. If we spend all of our time investing in the kids but we don’t allow them to invest in us our relationships will never fully materialize. Doing this will require us to be vulnerable. We may have to share things or exhibit certain behaviors that we’ve played close to the vest for a long time. It will require us to admit that we don’t have all the answers and that we can learn so much from our students. It means that sometimes we need a little help to make it through the class, lesson day or whatever is in front of us and our students can provide just that. The bottom line is that if we look at relationships as something that educators pour into students we will miss that the reciprocal of this is also necessary. Without the reciprocal, you’ll find yourself stuck in very superficial, if not artificial relationships that will likely end up doing more harm than good.
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AuthorJeff Lahey Archives
January 2020
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